so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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