i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize