Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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