My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
