Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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