"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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