I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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