It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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