he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
