I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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