and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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