she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
