There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
