So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
