Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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