have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
