i think my tv is drunk
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
