fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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