No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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