Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.