Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.