ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
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Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.