Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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  (248): I cant believe we actually had a nipple party! http://tfl.nu/pec6
  Replies (5) Good night (2004) Bad night (447)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  are you so shy because you have an std?

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  (403): are you so shy because you have an std? http://tfl.nu/9nrw
  Replies (8) Good night (529) Bad night (3214)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.

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  (508): god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?! (774): Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to. http://tfl.nu/gr6l
  Replies (25) Good night (869) Bad night (5056)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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  (814): 1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame? http://tfl.nu/zg21
  Replies (23) Good night (7540) Bad night (1077)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.

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  (402): her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed. http://tfl.nu/jsdy
  Replies (13) Good night (1920) Bad night (3570)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.

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  (815): There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream. http://tfl.nu/rule
  Replies (12) Good night (5235) Bad night (743)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow

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  (802): He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow http://tfl.nu/7xi8
  Replies (18) Good night (3128) Bad night (713)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.

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  (508): I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine. http://tfl.nu/hmlf
  Replies (5) Good night (1341) Bad night (760)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.

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  (434): He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/bcau
  Replies (7) Good night (521) Bad night (671)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.

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  (801): She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime. http://tfl.nu/hokk
  Replies (1) Good night (868) Bad night (284)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.

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  (+44): When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies. http://tfl.nu/0fef
  Replies (8) Good night (1541) Bad night (321)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed

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  (307): Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed http://tfl.nu/7csc
  Replies (1) Good night (471) Bad night (203)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises

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  (617): You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises http://tfl.nu/wnpw
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (342)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.

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  (702): Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors. http://tfl.nu/41jv
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (192)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."

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  (901): I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking." http://tfl.nu/tuv1
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (167)

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