I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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