RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
