They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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