one might say we're banned from that church
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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