i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just cropdusted the office
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize