Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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