I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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