I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
