Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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