I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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