...so i touched it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
