its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I understand Curling. That high.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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