And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He keeps bees of course he's weird
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
