you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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