would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no, he came in my armpit
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
