This is not my ceiling
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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