In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
