talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
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two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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