do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
