My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
