I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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