In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
