I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
