dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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