Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
