He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
