She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
