i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
