What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He has the fingertips of a God
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