Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize