Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
