I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize