where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He felt like a one man threesome
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
