i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
