i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
