My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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