Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Panties = found
Randomize