You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
